Blog Post Six: Where Have I Been?
There are many reasons for my absence and the first main one is work. As I have mentioned I’m a full time mental health therapist and my caseload has exploded which has been challenging to maintain. However really the bigger reason is Depression. “But Andrew I thought you said you were a mental health therapist.” Damn right I am but I’m still human and have emotions.
Covid continues to hit me and my family incredibly hard. To catch you up, when the news dropped of a vaccine I became hopeful again. This was the news I needed to start feeling like I can hope again. I received my first two does of the vaccine with no issues. I became excited and even planned a trip to meet my sister, brother in law, and nephew at a cabin for a extended weekend. My main nephrologist had me take a spike protein antibody test just to be sure I had some protection. Well like any good drama story, I received the news that I got ZERO antibodies from my two doses….devastated. I reached for any assistance I could get but didn’t get a lot. I had read that many members in the Kidney community got a third dose and received antibodies from that once so that’s what I did. And again, nothing. I did that 2 more times for a total of 5 doses and nothing. Moments like these are when hopelessness kicks in.
What’s been keeping me going all this time is “one day it’s going to get better.” I would cycle through mantras such as “one day at a time, keep moving forward, keep you head down and power through.” When the vaccine was announced, I saw light at the end of the tunnel. I finally felt it was possible for my wife and I to go on our honey moon. I finally thought I would be able to comfortably be able to leave my house and see my friends (some of which I have not seen in over 2 years) but no, the tunnel collapsed and I was left in complete darkness with no indication which way was up or down. And unfortunately, I still feel this way to the day. The USA has proven time and time again that a majority of the residents do not care at all for the elderly, sick, or pretty much anyone else who is not a white male. The world has moved on form COVID as if it had never happened….but not us. Not the roughly 133 MILLION that battle a chronic illness.
I tried to do my best to advocate, and use my voice for those who do not have one. But it ended up me screaming into a dark void, because no one was willing to listen. I did have a small break through though. I was featured in two CNN articles and was featured in a South African online journal called Hashtag Our Stories. In fact, on the second CNN article I was front page on their website for a good chunk of the day…..My face was even bigger than Donald Trumps (insert evil laughter). I absolutely plan on doing a separate blog post explaining my experiences with the media (both good and bad so look out for that). It was a wonderful experience overall and it did get some people talking. But as is with any news these days, you are a star for only a few hours and by the next day (or even that evening), you are forgotten. I will post links to all of the articles if you are interested in reading them. So where does that leave me and this blog?
Well if I lived in a fantasy world, Jeff Bazos, Elon Musk or Dwayne Johnson would gift me a couple million dollars so I could by a big chunk of land in Vermont or Connecticut where Emily and I could build our dream house equip with plenty of space to have kids, a home theatre and separate spaces for our hobbies. For example I learned I loved to do pottery….I want a pottery studio where I can create learn and live my best life. Since the world is unwilling to change, I need to create a space to live my best life. But unfortunately that is likely not to happen. so we are back to taking it day by day.
For the blog it self, I really am going to try to write more. I would love to write a post a week to start and hopefully go from there because I know that writing can be therapeutic as I often tell my clients. I think it’s time for me to try taking my own advice. Even though I often feel like I am yelling into a void, the truth is, I know I am at least letting someone know out there that they are not alone. And that really is enough for me.
CNN Article One: https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/19/health/immunosuppressed-coronavirus-wellness-trnd/index.html
Screen Shot of CNN during the second article.
CNN Article Two: https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/09/health/immunocompromised-covid-19-booster-wellness-trnd/index.html
